she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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