So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
