My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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