Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
