Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
