I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
handjob tips. give me some.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
