My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
