The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My vagina is officially offended.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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