he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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