Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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