its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
