You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
