I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You took a bar mat shot.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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