My entire life is one complicated drinking game
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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