The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
