how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
