so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
