just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
