is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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