i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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