it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
