Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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