I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
