I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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