His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
