i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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