The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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