btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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