I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
