I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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