No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
