ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
