So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
