for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
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