Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
