Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
