North Korea, Best Korea!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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