sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize