it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
