yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize