So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
