Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
It's Friday. Sex?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
