i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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