Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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