never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
