..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
