During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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