The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think my vagina is haunted
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
