i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
