So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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