You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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