i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
