Banned from zoo.
Again?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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