I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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