I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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