That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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