she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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