meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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