Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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