Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
