did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
