I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize