you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
