i just wanna soil my oats bro
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
