why didn't you poke me back
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
