Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
