fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
